Myrtle was being played by Sadie Hodge who was sexy in a raw way and for whom I’d had a fancy for a long time; but she was engaged to Alfred Butterfield the local plumber, a big guy who was very jealous of any male who even spoke to Sadie. But if Sadie had been playing Lady Primrose we might have had a few interesting private rehearsals.
But it wasn’t to be, and when mum told me she was playing Primrose I tried to back out of the role of Garth, but by that time the butcher’s boy was being played by Gordon Friar.
When I told mum I felt a bit doubtful about playing the role of her lover she said, “Don’t be so silly David, it’s only in the last scene anything really happens between Lady Primrose and Garth, and you surely don’t find me so unattractive that you couldn’t make love with me for just a few moments.”
And so being the typical insecure and ego ridden actor I took the role of Garth rather than not be in the play at all.
I have to say in all fairness, Lionel is a good director. The others in the play were doing quite well, it was me that was holding things up, and I knew it.
Came the Dawn
After a night of naked me and mum dreams, I woke wondering why I wanted it to be Sunday instead of Saturday. As the fog of night dispersed from my brain I remembered; mum was gong to rehearse the seduction scene with me.
Now here I must confess that my problems with the seduction scene went beyond the mere fact I was embarrassed because it was with my mother. No, let me put that another way. In that scene when I played the part of an arch, as Lionel would have it, even before I got near mother I’d got an erection. What it would be like if we had got into a close tangle could only be imagined.
Now I suppose that if I hadn’t been so tired the previous night I would have masturbated to relieve the sexual tension I’d experienced on stage with mother. Not having done so, and after the dreams I’d had, I felt a sticky patch under me, and you can guess what that meant.
I contemplated for a while the possibility of suddenly contracting terminal cancer, or perhaps I could fake a stroke that had left me unable to speak, but I knew mum would see through my ploy – she always had when I was a kid and I tried to fake pneumonia or a broken leg when I didn’t want to go to school.
Her usual response was, “Well, I suppose I’ll have to take you to see the doctor and he can give you a needle.” The suggestion of a needle always had a miraculously curative effect.
I knew I had to face the day so I got off the bed and did some under sheet maneuvering to try and get the sticky patch at the bottom of the bed. After that I showered and then having dressed made my way to the kitchen for breakfast.
Mum seemed very bright and breezy and she was wearing a dress almost identical to one she used in the play.
“As soon as we’ve finished breakfast,” she said, “we can get down to rehearsing, but darling, you’re clothes are all wrong. Remember, you’re supposed to be the gardener, it’s a hot day and you’re only wearing shorts. That’s what drives Lady Primrose nearly out of her mind, seeing your bare torso, so after breakfast go and change. We must do it properly.”