“I think you have more confidence in how he thinks than I do.”
“I know him better than you do. I think you’ll find him very reasonable. He may say ‘no’ but he’ll be reasonable.
“So when do you ask him?”
“When do WE ask him? We’re in this together. If you don’t have the courage to face your father, can I expect you to have the courage to be a parent? Just remember, that’s what you’re bargaining for: parenthood.”
I couldn’t tell her I was already a parent. A father to Auntie Lee’s baby.
“So, We’ll ask together,” I relented. “The other thing is, well … how are YOU going to feel about when we do it? Will you be okay?”
“Finally, you care about your dear old mom. In reality, I’ll be embarrassed like I said, but I don’t have to perform like you do. You really have to produce something, like first an erection, and then—sperm. I have a passive role. I’m the collector. You do your job and mine will be taken care of. I won’t distract you at all; I’ll just be as still and quiet as possible. I’ve had plenty of practice at that with your father.” She laughed a little dejected laugh.
“Mom!”
“S’true! Sad, but true. I’ll have my thoughts on bringing my little girl back. That will sustain me, I’m sure.”
“So, ask him tonight?”
“Tonight,” she said.
***********************************
“Tonight” came too soon for me. I didn’t think I’d be this nervous, but I guess it was to be expected: how often does a boy get to ask his dad if he can have sex with his mother? And, by the way, get her pregnant?
“So what’s this all about?” Dad said as he eased into his recliner. “Make it quick; ball game’s coming on in a little bit. Gonna watch it with me? We won’t have many more nights together. You’ll be all the way across the country in another month. I’ll have to root double hard for both of us.”
“Sure, I’ll watch with you, Dad.” I bet he won’t care about the score after I tell him I want to “score” with Mom.
“So what’s the big news? You want to plan a baby shower for Lee? Right?”
“No,” Mom said. “But it is about a baby. I want to have a baby. You know that.”
“Oh boy,” Dad said. He got a sad look and brought his hand to his forehead and rubbed. I can only imagine that he thought Mom was going to go over the same stuff for the thousandth time, and he was going to feel bad again about not being able to help.
Mom smiled a nervous smile and said, “Well, your son has come up with a plan to make that happen. Tell him, Mike.”
WHAT! Mom was handing the ball to ME?
“What’s this? Something you learned in high school biology? Mike, we’ve seen every expert, doctor, herbalist, practitioner, witch doctor, and therapist this side of the Rockies. And, after all that, after all those hours, after all that money—nothing. There’s nothing, and I mean NOTHING you can say that I haven’t heard a dozen times before.”
“I want to get Mom pregnant, to have sex with her,” I said.
“I stand corrected,” Dad said.
“Now, Gavin, hear us out before you judge,” Mom said. I was happy she piped in.
“Zoey! You okay with this?”
Thankfully, Mom took over and launched into the whole thing: Michelle, destiny, pieces, wholes, sperm, egg, incomplete—everything. Dad sat there, not saying anything. He had a look on his face like he was watching someone backing up near a cliff and not knowing its there.