We were sitting on the edge of the tub, waiting to take a look at what was waiting on the sink.
“I don’t even have to look to know,” she said. “You know I know and I know you know already. We don’t even need this.”
I made a big show of getting up. “Then I might as well just throw it out without looking!”
“Get back here!” She pulled me down roughly.
We waited a few more minutes, long minutes and then Mom said: “Okay, we’ll look together.” We got up and she counted: “One, two, three—look!”
The white plastic pregnancy test had a word on it: “Pregnant”
“Oh my God! Oh my God!” Mom burst into tears and I held her. Her back got hot and sweaty with the emotional release.
“We did it, Mom. We did it!”
We both had known that first week, but there was something reassuring and peace-inducing about seeing something concrete and official.
A half hour later we were celebrating at the kitchen table with freshly-baked cookies and milk.
“To us!” Mom said. “The three of us.” She patted her tummy.
“To Michelle,” I said while raising my glass.
Mom got serious. “I’ve been thinking. What if it’s not Michelle? What if just having another baby made me feel like this. And you, how do we know that having a baby for the first time might have taken that ‘alone’ feeling away from you?”
“This is different. This is Michelle for sure. I know because if it was just having a baby that changed it, I would have felt it when Auntie Lee and I—” And, at that moment I knew I had screwed up. Screwed up big time.
Mom put her milk down. Slowly put her milk down. “Auntie Lee? Your Auntie Lee?”
“Mom, listen—”
“I knew there was something up. Zack! Damned Zack! First of all, does he know the truth?”
“He should, he was right there,” I said. There was no use lying or denying. Mom was the best at wringing the smallest of details out of you while putting her human lie detector super power to work.
“When were you going to tell me? That I had a grandchild?”
“Never. That was the bargain. That forever everybody would think Uncle Zack was the father. You know him. You gotta promise me you won’t tell.”
“I don’t have to promise anything! But, I DO know Zack. Know his temperament. So I won’t tell. But that doesn’t make me any less concerned.”
“Let’s not spoil what we found out today. In fact, now that you know that Auntie Lee’s baby didn’t take my loneliness away, but ours DID—that proves that this is Michelle we’re having. Proves it.”
“Hhhmm,” she hummed thoughtfully. “I knew that anyway.” Then she gave me a smile.
Today was too happy to have any cloud hang over it for long. We ate more cookies. Then Mom said:
“Auntie Lee. Your beautiful Auntie Lee.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Your red-haired Auntie Lee. My brother’s wife? You fucked her? Fucked her naked?”
When I answered, I wasn’t counting the first time: “Yeah.”
“And, how was THAT?”
“Not as good as you, Mom. Not by a long shot.”
*******************************
“The things Lori collected for you are on the table in a box,” Mrs. Branch said.
Lori and I had finally broken up. A relief that the inevitable had finally taken place. She had called and said: “Come get your junk!”