“Have a good day,” she said as she kissed me. I went for her cheek, but felt the sides of our lips touch too.
I’m ashamed to admit that, as I looked at her face, I thought: “I know what your pussy tastes like.”
***************************************
In the car, Dad’s police car, of course, I was hoping Dad wouldn’t talk of what happened the night before.
“I bet you jerked off last night,” he said, then added in a whiny voice, “thinking about your mom.”
I stayed silent, wishing the school was closer.
“What a nice sight of you two hugging and kissing this morning. I bet you were wanting to tear that god-dammed bathrobe off her and get right to it.”
His statement made me visualize doing just that and seeing my own mother naked for the first time. After staring out the side window for thirty seconds, I whined, “Dad, what reason can you have for saying this stuff? I don’t understand!”
“Glad you asked, Sport.” He only called me Sport when he wanted to make fun of or degrade me. “I don’t have A reason. Nope. I have four point seven MILLION reasons.”
“Huh?”
“Who died last month?” Dad asked.
“Grandpa…? Mom’s father?” I answered like I was in a bad dream because this made no sense at all.
“Bingo! And his will left 4.7 MILLION dollars to your mother.”
“WHAT?” I yelled. “THAT’S GREAT!”
“Hold on, Sport. That COULD be great, except for one little thing. The will said the money would go to the eldest child.”
“But, that’s Mom. She’s two years older than Uncle Sean.”
“How old is your mother?” Dad asked.
“Dad…?”
“C’mon-how old?”
“You know she turned 39 just two weeks ago.”
“Right. All that math is doing you some good. The thing is, the will says the money goes to the child UNDER 40 who has at least two children of their own.”
“Uncle Sean has four kids,” I said, seeing loads of money flying away.
“Yeah, Sean the idiot is about to become a millionaire if we don’t do something about it.”
“We?”
“You see, Sport, unfortunately I have a slight problem in the sperm count department. Like ALL mine has already been withdrawn from the sperm bank. That’s where YOU come in, with the emphasis on ‘cum.'”
So that was his plan. To get Mom pregnant and have another kid before she turned 40. “Why don’t you just do that artificial insemination thing?”
“Your mom has some weird religious beliefs, and ‘unnatural procreation’—as she calls it—is one of them. Anyway, if I have to raise a kid, that kid is gonna have some of my blood in it. Understand? Plus, I’m not gonna have no other guy’s sperm swimming around in my woman.”
My dad was insanely jealous of my mother. If he hadn’t been the Chief of Police, there were several times he would have been in deep trouble for assaulting various admirers that got too close or said the wrong thing to Mom. He didn’t even like a guy looking at Mom.
“I still don’t understand. What’s different about having MY sperm swimming around?”
“That’s because, and I hate to say it, you’re a little wimp of a disappointment. Have been for all your life. Having your sperm do the job wouldn’t be like another man, but like a nothing, like an extension of my own dick doing the work. You’re Beth’s son, for God’s sake. She wouldn’t in her craziest day think of you like a real man!” he laughed. “It would be a clinical artificial insemination in my estimation.”