Mom receives a drunken text from her son by mistake, I was reading in bed when I heard my iPhone’s distinctive beep as I received a new text. Glancing at the clock, I wondered who the hell was texting me at 2:30 in the morning? I picked up my phone and scrolled down to the message. It was from my 19-year-old son Luke.
“That’s strange,” I muttered to myself.
I had heard Luke drunkenly stumble into the house about 15 minutes ago. He was at a frat party earlier tonight. My ex-husband and I were pretty pragmatic when it came to drinking. We had one rule when we gave Luke the keys to his car at 16. If he went out to a party and happened to get drunk, do not drive home. We told him to have a designated driver, call a cab, walk…or even call one of us to pick him up. We would not punish him if he did any of those things. If we found out that he did drive drunk, then there would be hell to pay.
As I read his protracted and rambling text, I quickly realized three things. First, he was totally smashed to the gills as he wrote this. Second, he sent this text to me by mistake. It looks like he was trying to text a girl named, “May” but ended up texting, “Ma”. And finally, my son was attempting to get May to sneak over for another booty call.
What truly shocked me though was the attached image. I tapped on it and watched as the image filled the screen. For a moment, I didn’t believe what I was looking at. The pic was a close up of an empty, 12 ounce can of Red Bull next to Luke’s fully engorged penis.
“Holy Shit!” I gasped out loud. Not only was my son’s cock as thick as the can, but it was noticeably longer as well. He sure as hell didn’t get that from his father.
I realized moments later that I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I stared at the image, dumbfounded. I tossed my iPhone down on the bed and started talking to myself like a crazy person.
“Lucy, what the fuck’s wrong with you? That is Luke’s dick, you idiot!! Just because you haven’t gotten laid since the divorce doesn’t mean it’s cool to get your motor revved up by your own son!”
I walked to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. As I glanced up at the mirror, I instantly noticed that my nipples looked like they could cut glass. I say to my reflection:
“This is going to be one crazy-awkward conversation when Luke realizes what he’s done.”
I decide that I should just nip this in the bud and get it over with. I walked over to the other side of the house to Luke’s bedroom and gently knocked on his door.
“Luke?” I whispered through the door. I paused a moment, took a deep breath and slowly opened it.
I found my son passed out on his bed. The glow from his lamp bathed his body in warm light. He had managed to get his jeans off of one leg but he forgot to remove one of his sneakers. His jeans were tangled around his left ankle which was dangling off the side of the bed. His phone was lying across his lean torso and the Red Bull can was gently resting in his right hand. That’s not where my eyes lingered on though.