“Yeah, but—”
“And I made a promise about the first time. Once I do it I don’t have to think about that stupid promise anymore! I can just go have some real fun like I should have been doing!”
“Justin, that promise is one of the things that make you such a good guy! You’re a lot different than—”
“I don’t want to be!” I yelled. “I don’t want to be an asshole like my dad, but Christ, Sam, there’s nothing wrong with having sex! I’ve missed out on a lot of fun, but know what? No more! I had my heart set on this weekend and I’m getting it!”
“Whoa! Justin, you’re not going to still let Jen come over, are you?”
“Fuck her!” I laughed humorlessly. “No—wait—she’s fucking everyone else! No, not her.”
“Good, but then what do you mean you’re still going to?”
“I’m going to call Cindy and—”
“Cindy Reed?” Sam gasped. “Come on, Justin! She’ll fuck anyone. May as well as be with Jen.”
“She will fuck anyone. That’s the point. And she’s not like Jen because she doesn’t pretend she wants anything except to get laid! She’s all but jumped me before. I’m going to call her when I hang up with you and—”
“Justin, don’t do that!”
“Why the hell not? I’ll get what I want. Cindy will get what she wants. What’s the problem?”
“Your first time shouldn’t be that meaningless, not after how long you tried to make it a certain way.”
“Fuck that! I tried the right way. I blew off girls who would have because I didn’t think they would be serious, and then I get this close and it falls through. I waited long enough to keep my stupid promise to my mother.”
“That promise was sweet, not stupid.”
“Fine—stupid, sweet—pick what you want. My mother even made a crack that she knows I’m going to while she’s away. I will. It just won’t be with who she thinks it will be.”
“You’ll lie to her?”
“I don’t think she’ll actually ask, Sam. Mom doesn’t want to know the details. I’ll tell her next week Jen was screwing around on me, then I’ll move on and she won’t care if I start dating around.”
“Is that what you want to do, Justin? Go from girl to girl like your father?”
“Don’t pull that shit with me, Sam! I’m not my father! He used women. I won’t be using anyone. I’ll just hook up with girls just looking to hook up.”
“Justin, please think about it first. The summer’s coming and you’ll be at the beach a lot, and we start PC in September. You’ll meet a lot of new girls and—”
“I am not waiting!” I shouted. “I’m not waiting to meet someone, then dating until I see how I feel about them. That could take months! Fuck that!”
“Justin, please calm down. You don’t have to yell at me.”
“I … I’m sorry, Sam. I’m not mad at you, but I am mad, and worse, I feel like an idiot, and there’s no reason to deny myself having some fun. Sorry if it disappoints you and what you want for me.”
“I … I’m not disappointed about Jen,” she said quietly. “And I’m not disappointed in you that you waited. I’m proud of you. Honestly, Justin, I’m upset with myself for not waiting for the right guy.”
“And you could still be waiting. At least you had fun and know what it’s like. Besides, you used to sit there sometimes and tell me how good Derek was to the point I would tell you to knock it off because you were aggravating me.”