That night I had dinner in my room. One more day and I’d be home. I missed my family so much my loneliness was palpable. I’m not normally that way. I’m usually very content being alone. Of course usually I’m happy with myself. I normally consider myself a good person. That was the difference. I didn’t feel that way at the time. I felt dirty and shameful.
It was nine o’clock by the time I mustered the courage to call Nelson. I tried to sound normal but I guess I wasn’t too successful because half way into our conversation he asked if something was wrong. I used the age tested excuse that I was just tired. I was going to have to work hard to shake the guilt before I got back home.
Stoney and I hadn’t said another word to each other the following day. When I got to the airport I noticed him sitting in the lounge waiting for the same flight as me. I wondered if I should try and start a dialogue. After all we still had to work together.
He looked up from what he was reading and saw me but didn’t so much as crack a smile. At that moment I thought screw it. I’m sure he and I will talk at work. As far as I was concerned that was enough for me. When we boarded he was in seat four-A, I was in ten-C.
All I could think about during the entire flight home was how I had betrayed my family. I remembered when I first met Stoney and how my heart went pitter-patter. I thought back to all the times I pretended that it was Stoney making love to me instead of Nelson. The more I beleaguered on the subject the more guilt I felt again. For the second time I wondered if I should confess. That would relieve some of my guilt but it would certainly hurt the man I love. Once again I discounted the idea completely.
As we pulled up to the gate at O’Hare I glanced up to see Stoney unbuckle his seat belt immediately after stopping and grab his bag from the overhead bin. He was the first one to start walking toward the door. I thought he was being kind of childish with the way he was ignoring me; then it hit me, he wasn’t used to being rejected. I have to admit, that brought a smile to my face.
I took a deep breath in preparation of seeing the two most important people in my life. When I spotted them in the waiting area my heart felt as if it would jump from my chest. It had only been three days but felt like a life time.
The wheels on my travel bag rumbled along the tiled floor as my pace quickened almost to a run. I literally flew into Nelson’s strong arms. I felt so safe in his embrace. I’m not sure how long our kiss lasted but it was eventually interrupted by Evangeline.
“Mom—mom did you see that guy on the plane? Is he a movie star?”
“What, honey,” I asked, breaking our kiss and acknowledging our daughter.
“That guy that was on the plane…”
“I think it might be time for that talk, honey. Our daughter is starting to notice boys.”
“Oh dad,” replied Evie.
I think we both found Nelson’s comment funny. “Honey, Evie and I had that talk a long time ago and have had several more since then,” I explained.