We knew that 10:20am was the time he didn’t feel well at work, 10:25 they called the ambulance, 10:26 the office called mum, 10:45 the ambulance arrived, 11:05, he arrived at the hospital, 11:15 she arrived, and 11:50 he was pronounced dead.
The cold hard facts from last year, but colder and harder to live through this year, as I watched the clock minute by minute all through the morning, and then through for the rest of the day. Whatever time it was, I knew exactly where I was and what I was doing at that time.
Mum went to bed at 9:30 that night. She said that as she’d struggled through the anniversary, she’d had enough, as I had.
But I wanted to stay up to the end of the day at midnight. So I settled down in one half of a twin recliner and watched television, as usual everything on was shit.
Soon I gave up on the television, and quietly moving past Mum’s darkened room got a memory stick with his stories and the Taboo films on it and plugged it into the television. I didn’t want to watch the films but I did want to read his stories again.
So with only a small light on so that Mum wouldn’t notice I prepared to say goodbye to the first year without my Father.
Starting with the first story, then the second and halfway through the third one, the door opened and Mum was in the room before I knew it, as the light was very low and I was concentrating on the stories.
Before I could hide what I was watching she was alongside me. It was a warm night and she was wearing a light robe over her short nightgown.
“I heard you go past and I thought you may be watching these.”
“Sorry Mum but it just seemed to be what I needed tonight.”
“Do you mind if I join you?”
“No, of course not,” I said moving along so she could sit in the other half of the recliner, she pushed it back, and before she sat down, I took the opportunity to make sure my dick was flat along my stomach, I thought it may let me down and embarrass me anywhere else, she then sat down and reclined back with her hands behind her head.
“What are we going to watch Tim?”
“What would you like to watch, does it have to be something to do with Dad?”
“Yes I think so, this is the last day of the first year, tomorrow we move on, but tonight is still his.”
“One of his stories do you think?”
“No I’ve been reading them all day.”
“Taboo?”
“I might get embarrassed.”
“It’s up to you, would you like to get a different film altogether?”
“No, put Taboo on, I’d like to think that Barbara and Paul, are Dad and Grandma as the film is just so beautifully shot, it’s not like… ugly porn.”
As the film started she rolled over and put her arm and her leg over me, “you don’t mind do you?”
“No of course not, if it helps you that’s ok,” as I put my arm around her.
We watched for a few minutes and she moved closer “You and I are all we have now, so let’s try to take more care of each other, ok Tim?”
I saw it for what it was, an attempt to end the effect that this had had on me, and then on her.
“Yes Ma.”
As she’d moved closer her leg had moved further up along mine. The reflection of the movement in the glass window of the television unit caught my eye, and it showed me a view right up under the robe she was wearing, she had no underwear on, she was naked, and fully on display.