I actually laughed. “Kid, that’s a hopeless bet.”
“Why? I may not look it, but I’m pretty good at cards.”
“Oh really?” I said, raising an eyebrow.
“Sure. Cards are just math. Fifty-two of them, only so many probabilities. I know my math.”
“Winning at cards is more than math.”
“Ben,” Zoey said, “I know you’re really smart, but Daddy is really good at cards. He played professional poker when he was younger.”
“Well, he’s not so young now,” Ben said, smirking at me.
Zoey’s eyes seemed to stretch. “Ben!”
“I could take him,” Ben said, smirking. “He’s probably just scared he’d lose.”
“You’re more bold that I thought, kid,” I said. “Okay, you’re on.”
“Really?”
“Wait, what?” Zoey said. “No way, Daddy. It’s not fair.”
“It was his idea,” I said.
“I can do it,” Ben said. “One hand of poker. If I win, I get to kiss Zoey, and if you win–”
“I kiss Zoey,” I said.
“What?” Zoey cried.
“Huh?” Ben said.
I grinned. “Those are the stakes. Now, since I know you’d never agree to that, why don’t you take your little ass out of my house before I throw you out. And you, Zoey, you take your little ass up to your room and stay there for the rest of the night.”
“But, but, Daddy–”
“It’s a bet!” Ben said.
“What?” Zoey and I both said.
“A deal’s a deal. Winner kisses Zoey,” Ben said.
“Ben, I can’t kiss my Daddy like that!” Zoey said.
“You won’t have to,” Ben said. “This is a piece of cake. I’ve won so much money on computer poker.”
Zoey looked at me. “Daddy, don’t agree to this. Just tell him it’s fine that we can kiss. Please, Daddy?”
“You really want to try your luck, Ben?” I said.
“Yes, sir.”
I nodded. “A deal’s a deal.”
“But, Daddy!” Zoey said.
“Don’t worry, Zoey!” Ben said. “I got this.”
“Grab my deck, Zoey,” I said. “I’m going to teach your little boyfriend a lesson.”
Zoey was biting her lip as she went into the other room and returned with the deck of cards. Ben still looked arrogant, between pushing his glasses up his nose. She placed the deck on the table and sat down. Her palms were wet.
“Go ahead, Ben,” I said. “Deal.”
“Okay. Five card draw,” he said, taking out the deck and shuffling it. He passed it to me to cut, but I patted. He dealt.
I glanced at my cards. Zoey turned her neck to see, but I turned my cards away and put on my stonecold poker face. She looked at her boyfriend’s cards and nervously bit her lip.
“You can do this,” she whispered to Ben.
“You want any?” he asked me.
“I’ll play these.”
He put down two and took two, shuffling his cards around. “Ready?”
I laid my cards down, three kings. His eyes bulged. He put down his cards, two pairs, jacks over fives. Zoey put her face in her hands.
“You shuffle for shit,” I said. “I think I had this hand last time I played.”
“Uh, well, I think we should have a do-over,” Ben said.
I smirked. “No. But the bet has to be paid.”
Zoey looked up. “Daddy, you wouldn’t, would you?”
“You two called this meeting, sat me down here, and embarrassed me with these questions. Now, Zoey, I’m going to teach both of you a lesson. You wanted to be kissed tonight? You’re going to be kissed tonight.”