Maddie has always brought out the worst and the best in me.
After her 18th birthday and graduation I persuaded her to take a year off school to decide what she wished to do with her life. Maddie was indecisive at the best of times and she loved to learn. The problem was that she loved to learn everything and couldn’t choose a favorite area of study. She grinned at me shyly when I suggested it. “You… you wouldn’t be disappointed in me for taking a year, Daddy?”
“Of course not, Muffin. All I ask is that you help me with my own work at times. Is that in agreement?”
“Yes, Daddy, of course. Daddy, there’s this boy at the book store sometimes and a movie comes out Friday that I want-”
“No. I will take you.” The words were a snap out of my mouth. The thought of a boy with my daughter filled me with rage. She’d been through enough. I would not see her heart broken as well.
Her lip quivered. “But, daddy… I… I want to be held and… stuff.”
I looked around her room, where we both sat on the edge of the bed. It had never really changed. Stuffed animals covered her bed and the butterflies glittered down at me happily. I looked at Maddie. “Muffin, no. I will hold you and keep you company.”
Tears welled in her eyes and I hated myself, but I would not back down. She was mine. And I would not give her away. “D-daddy there are other… other things. I… I don’t really understand them but I… I want… I hurt sometimes.”
I disliked the thought of her suffering. I lay down on her bed and tucked her gently into my arms, spooning her close to me and kissing her cheek. ” Maddie, dearest… Daddy’s got you.”
She turned around in my arms, cuddling closer to my chest and burying her nose in my shirt. “Will you pet me daddy?”
“Sure, Muffin.” And I did. I stroked her long hair from her crown down her back in long, soothing strokes. I rubbed gentle circles on her shoulders and held her safely in my arms.
Maddie’s hand moved lower from where she held me. She stroked my side and nuzzled my chest. For a moment, I didn’t even realize quite what she was doing. She was so slow and steady. She moved her hand in matching circles to mine and stroked her way down my side. Down to my thigh…
“Muffin!” I grasped her hand, shocked, and met her innocent wide eyes. She froze when I grabbed her hand, staring at me.
“Did I do something wrong, Daddy?”
I held her hand for a while longer before deciding to let go and not draw attention to her actions. “No, princess. Come here. Cuddle with me some more.”
Had she meant to do what I thought? Or was it me who was interested in her and had misinterpreted? As I cradled little Maddie, I wasn’t sure. She had turned to a lovely young lady and I was possessive over her, it was true. I had always had fetishes and it had always made me question myself.
As I cradled Maddie, I decided that maybe it had just been a while since I found a playmate. I never dated after divorcing her mother, but I had needs, it was true. And I had more specific needs than most, but I had used discretion in finding partners for those desires and always treated them politely. There were a few playmates I could get hold of.