“Here’s how,” she said, in a tight, almost strangled voice.
“First, I confess everything to you, every part of my foolish, stupid behavior. I’ve tried to do that in the letter—and if you have any more questions, now or later, just ask and I’ll answer them.
“Second, I apologize to you. Not just once but as many times as it takes, until you really really know how sorry and ashamed I am. Ashamed of what I did, and sorry for the pain I caused you.”
She knelt before him then, putting her arms on his knees and looking up at him. “I am so sorry, Nick. I hurt you very badly, and there’s no excuse. I was a selfish idiot. I hope there will be a time when you’ll be able to forgive me—but I know it’s not now, not yet.”
Still watching him, she got up and returned to her chair.
“Third, I make it up to you—every single day. By showing you that I can be a loving wife who is devoted to you, who appreciates you, who wants to make you happy. And who is happy just being your wife.”
Ticking them off on her fingers, she said, “I’m going to be loving, patient, supportive, attentive, and fun. I’m going to pamper you, cater to you, and make sure you’re getting what you need.”
She reached over and took his hand. “And that includes in the bedroom. I know things have gotten a little … not dull, maybe, but routine. But no more!
“If I have to read books, buy sexy underthings, get you to screw me on the kitchen floor…all of that sounds good to me, Nick.”
“And what about Di—, what about the other woman I’m interested in?” He gazed at her, keeping his face blank.
Emily bit her lip. She said, “I don’t have any control over that, Nick. I’d like you to never see her again, but it isn’t up to me, is it?
“But I know what I’d like. Do you think you … well, if …”
She shuddered, then shook herself. “Do you think we could try it for a month, maybe? Just you and me? Me doing everything I can to make you happy, keep you interested and satisfied at home? Showing you how sorry I am, and how much I adore you?”
Nick got up and walked to the far end of the deck, his back to Emily, grinning to himself. He was feeling a strange mixture of anger, excitement, and pride in himself. He’d done what he always did: figured out what he wanted, gone after it, and gotten it. Or at least it seemed that way ….
He turned around. “Okay, Em. I’ll give it a month. It’s not like I was in a big hurry to walk out of this house and away from the boys. And I won’t see her again, while we’re trying to fix things.”
She jumped up with an eager smile and came towards him, but he raised a hand to stop her.
“But don’t you think for a minute that I’m not fucking furious at you, or that I trust you one inch. Because I don’t. What you did with that asshole was shabby and cheap. It was unworthy of you, and sure as hell unworthy of the love I’ve given you. It fucking sucked!”
He turned away from her and stomped back into the house.
**********************
A month went by, and then a couple of weeks more. Nick didn’t bring up the deadline, and Emily certainly wasn’t going to.