Her face softened. “Please honey, I miss the old you. I miss you in our bed, and I miss you in me. It’s been almost a month, why won’t you come back to me?”
Dave held up his fingers and wiggled them. “I’m kind of involved now. They seem to love me, and have never once complained about my performance, or offered to terminate me. Besides, you’re already in a committed relationship.”
She went white, then red. “You asshole! I have never cheated on you, not once in all the time we’ve been married. Although I have to admit, once the word got out we weren’t getting along that well, I’ve had offers.”
“We’ll get back to that in just a minute. And you’ve cheated on me our whole marriage. Not with a man, but with a job. It will always have first call on your time, you will always put it first above any needs I may have. Know how many anniversaries we’ve missed celebrating together? Eight, out of thirteen years. Something was always more important at work than spending time with the man you supposedly loved above all others. Don’t get me started on missed birthdays, the times you broke commitments with both our parents and good friends. Ever notice how rarely you see your parents now, or how many old friends we used to have that we haven’t socialized with in years? You just never seem to be able to spare the time. I’m really glad now we never had children, they would think they were living in a single parent home because they would never see you. As for your offers, how many have come from people higher in the organization? I can’t imagine you fucking down; it would have to be someone who could help your career somehow.”
Dave felt bad for her for just a second, looking at the pained expression on her face. He quickly got over it when she slapped the hell out of him, the first time either had ever touched the other in anger. He looked about thirty minutes later, and the print was still on his cheek.
“You sonofabitch! Don’t you know I’m doing all this for us, so we can retire while we’re both still young enough to enjoy it? So I’m not Miss Congeniality, and I apologized every time I missed an anniversary or major event in our lives. And we agreed no children, I couldn’t afford the distraction, so don’t throw that up to me. As for the offers, yes, some were from people who could help my career, but I would never have an affair, because I still love you and could never betray you like that. You need to get your act together, so get showered, dressed, shaved, and let the woman who loves you take you out for dinner.”
She stopped, out of breath from emotion and the long speech. He gave her a sad smile. “Sorry, I’ve already had dinner, three burritos and a large fry. And on the subject of children, I didn’t want to be a biological dead end. I loved you so much at the time, though, that the choice was easy. Still hurt, though, when my clients used to pull out pictures of their families. What was I going to show them? We don’t even have a fucking dog.
“You’re right though, the pity party has to stop. I’m going upstairs to shower, shave, and try to turn back in to a real person. I’ll hit the gym three times a day for a while, after all, what else do I have to do? Thanks for the motivational seminar.”
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