“Thanks, sis. I’ll cherish them for the rest of my life.”
“Very funny. Anyway, sorry, but you can’t have any of my panties.”
I laughed as I went in the bathroom to get cleaned up.
—
After we both had showers and something to eat-peanut butter and triscuits-I was feeling a little better. I was grateful to have a better sense of the timing, because at least we knew there would be an end, not just vague uncertainty.
After the crackers were put away, we sat on the bed, leaning back against the wall. The room only had one chair-a metal folding contraption with no padding. It was fine to sit in for a few minutes, but no more than that.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, but the silence was making things worse. I was imagining myself infected, and it was making me nervous again.
I broke the silence. “What do you think you’ll miss most about the future, Allie?”
She thought a while before answering. “I was really hoping to have kids. A family, you know?”
“Yeah. Who would you want to have kids with? Any idea?”
This time she gave one little chuckle and half-smiled. “Probably someone I haven’t met yet. None of the guys I know now. Definitely not Max.”
I’d never heard her talk about anyone named by that name, so I said, “Who’s Max?”
“Oh, he was my boyfriend for a while this year.”
“A guy from school?”
“No, but his younger brother went to my school. We met at a football game and went out for about three months.”
“So it didn’t work out?”
“That’s an understatement.”
“What happened?”
She shifted her legs on the bed and crossed them in front of her. “I suppose I can tell you. It’s not like you’re going to blab.”
“Dead men tell no tales.”
“Stop it. I don’t like it when you say stuff like that.”
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, Max was really nice at first. He doted over me, Jase, literally doted. He took me places, made me feel like I was a princess. One time to surprise me he picked me up at work with a picnic, and we drove out by the lake and watched the sun set while we ate. It was so romantic. He made it seem like he really cared about me. I truly thought he had future potential.”
“Sounds like a real jerk.”
“Yeah, well, all that changed one night. We were at his place, watching a movie on the couch, making out, everything was fine. We’d made out before, and I always liked it.”
“It’s weird to hear about my sister’s love life. But go on.”
“So you have to promise not to tell anyone about this. Even if we live.”
“I promise. Your secret’s safe with me.”
“Twice before I’d told him I wasn’t ready to, you know, go all the way. And I said it again that night. But he wasn’t listening, or he wasn’t paying attention, or-” Allie’s voice trailed off.
I waited, but she wasn’t continuing, so I said, “Are you saying he forced himself on you? He raped you?”
She tucked her knees up to her chin and hugged them with her arms. “No, nothing like that, not exactly.”
“Then what did he do to you?”
“We were kissing like usual, and then he started pulling off my clothes, which I liked at first, but then I didn’t. Pretty soon all my clothes were off, and he unzipped his fly and took out his, you know.”