“You’ve GOT to be shitting me!”
Kristi’s outburst when I first explained to her my plans was as foulmouthed as it was predictable. Fortunately, at least in this case, Kristi didn’t have to worry about a father who had the hots for her little cousin so she stayed a mile away from our uncle whenever she had the chance. We both shared the same opinion of him.
“Kelly, you’re a saint, you know that,” she sighed as she sat back in the overstuffed chair in her living room.
“Hey, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders.
I had called Kristi up and explained to her that I needed to talk to her about something important. She wasn’t working this particular evening so I drove over and we shared a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke.
“So what do you think I should do now?” I asked her, sipping from my glass.
“Well, you COULD take off all your clothes and lick my cunt,” she replied, a big grin on her face. I threw a pillow at her and huffed.
“Gee whiz Kristi, is that all you ever think about? C’mon, be serious for once. I have to figure this out and you’re not helping matters.”
“Who said I wasn’t being serious?” she replied mischievously. The problem was, I knew she WAS being serious. If there was any further proof as to how much this was bothering me, the fact I was turning her down said more than anything.
“You know girl, this really IS all your fault,” Kristi teased me.
“Say what??”
“Well, if you hadn’t been so obstinate about living on your own and stayed home to take care of your daddy’s needs, he wouldn’t be thinking about Tammy so much.”
I glared at her, trying to figure out from her impish face if she was teasing me or expressing how she really felt.
“Fuck you Kristi. That has nothing to do with this and you know it.”
“Oh I don’t know about that. He’s been a LOT more horny since you moved out,” she countered and then grinned, “and if anyone should know, it’s me.”
The dirty little whore! I knew exactly what she was referring to. It was like when I was away at college and she “filled in” for me with my dad. Now I wasn’t almost four hours away, barely more than four minutes if you hit the lights right. My dad could have me anytime he wanted and I knew it. All he had to do is call if he needed me that bad.
“Well screw you Kristi!”
THAT certainly was an intelligent way to end the conversation but it worked. Even though I knew all I had to do was spread my legs a little and she would be on me in a second, she tried to be helpful, as much as my blonde cousin can. Fortunately, we were discussing the ONE subject she excelled at – sex.
“Well, first of all, you need to do the foursome thing again.”
I looked at her and squinted, as if I was having a hard time hearing her. No way did I hear her say THAT!
“You know, father-daughter, swap thing, all that,” she went on, ignoring the look on my face, “At least that way your dad’s around to keep him under control.”
Now THAT made sense finally. One of my fears was that my uncle tends to get rough and with my dad there, even if he WAS busy screwing Tammy, maybe my uncle would be a little less likely to go overboard.