Mike was at the table waiting for me and he greeted me with a smile.
“Man mom, that smells great,” he said enthusiastically. I hoped the stew was. As I settled to
eat an awkward silence permeated the air. With a sigh after a few bites, I started to tell him.
“Mike, I’m sorry,” I said staring into the bowl.
“About our talk?” he asked with a mouthful. He knew I hated that and it did focus me
enough to glare at him for a second. With a few chews he swallowed and continued. “Don’t
be sorry mom. It’s fine, just surprising to talk to you about it. I’m glad you weren’t mad
about me peeking.”
I began to shudder as words stuck to my throat.
“Not about that. About you’re father.”
“What about him? He’s dead?”
I looked back down and realized my appetite was gone. After a moment of silence I looked
up at him.
“Do you remember your aunt?” I asked with more confidence. Mike wouldn’t have
forgotten her though. Before she had passed, the two of them had been inseparable.
“Yeah.”
“Do you know why we lived with her?”
He shook his head and continued to eat. I got up and poured myself another glass of wine.
After a big sip, I continued.
“I was thrown out by my parents because I was pregnant with you,” I said, knowing he
knew this part. “What you don’t know is that I was knocked up by the pastor of the church
they attended.”
That made him stop eating.
“My parents blamed me and cast me out after his arrest.”
Confusion passed over his face.
“When we were talking earlier it was because I have never had sex since. It’s been too
painful to think about such things, and essentially,” I trailed off, more words becoming a
mumble. The shakes were back.
“Your father isn’t dead either.”
“You serious?”
I looked up to him and the tears fell down my cheeks. He was mad. I could see it all over
his face.
“I’m sorry son.”
My eyes dropped again, and then in a panic I got up, and rushed to my room. There, I cried
into a pillow nonstop for what seemed like forever. I was brought out of it when my phone
vibrated with a message.
*Why did you lie to me?*
*Scared of the truth and ashamed. Your aunt was the only one who tried to make the ordeal
out like it wasn’t my fault. Everyone blamed me.*
*So my dad is still alive?*
*Yes, he wants to meet you.*
*Not going to fucking happen.*
The conviction in his voice, well text, made my heart leap in joy for a moment.
*If I ever see him, I’ll kill him. Just look at the damage he has done.*
*What do you mean?*
*I was always confused why you never had a boyfriend. Always thought guys were after
you. Seen plenty of them flirt and you flirt back. So why not?*
*I’ve been too scared.*
My first time was a horror, and everything that happened was confusing. I mean pregnant
at that age, I was lost and scared.*
*I’m sorry it happened to you. So that’s why you text so much?*
*Yeah, I’m actually really shy.*
I was fidgeting on my bed concerned about opening up so much with him. To help with the
scenarios, I actually pulled out my computer and began searching on mother and son
relationships. More of a curiosity on my part, but I found myself wondering about Mike in a