Steve was in bed and the blankets were over his head. She almost laughed. This was what he did whenever he got in trouble as a child. He would run to his room and hide under the covers. Eventually after he had time to settle down, she would come into his room and find him in this manner. The two of them would then talk through whatever had bothered him or whatever he had gotten in trouble for. Now here he was, doing it again. Obviously, this was a much more unique situation though.
She walked to the side of the bed, sat next to him, and placed her hand on what she thought was his back or shoulder.
“It’s okay, you know.” She told him. She figured he was extremely embarrassed; but then she also realized she needed to explain her own actions. Maybe that was what she would do. By focusing on her role in this perhaps he would feel better.
“I am so sorry that you have found this out about me. I am ashamed.” The last statement was genuine enough that her voice cracked. She was going to continue through the tears that had begun. She wanted to explain how and why she started. “I…”
He pulled the sheet over his head and turned to her. He quickly interrupted, “It’s Okay.”
He reassured her. And then she was shocked, relieved, and excited all at once as he ignored his own feelings and moved closer to her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “there’s absolutely no reason to be ashamed. You’re a beautiful woman and you’re doing what you need to do to try to make life better for us.”
She thought to herself how wonderful this man was. She no longer thought of him as a boy. But that statement right there made her realize how grown-up he was. He obviously remembered how tight money had been several years ago and the struggles. He was actually making her feel better. And her crying stopped.
” But this is not the proper way,” she said. His hand continued to rub her back and shoulder. She grabbed his hand with hers and pulled it around her as she turned to face him. “As for you….that’s okay as well.”
Steve dropped his head and could not look her in the face. She kept her hand on his and used her other hand to lift his chin up. She looked him in the eyes.
“It’s okay,” she told him. “It’s normal. You know Freud?? He’s not a fraud.” She immediately realized how stupid that was, and rolled her eyes as she chuckled.
Steve smiled in return, “but…” He didn’t know what else to say at this point. He smiled at her stupid joke. But then his smile went away as he looked closely at her face.
The silence lasted for what seemed forever. The two of them were now staring in each other’s eyes. Her hand was still slightly touching his chin. Literally, for over a minute the two of them examined each other’s face in hopes that they could determine exactly what the other was feeling.
Pam could not help herself. She applied more pressure under his chin and began to pull his face towards hers as she leaned in for a kiss. He did not hesitate. Instead, his right hand squeezed tightly around her and he pulled her to him quickly.