“Did you hear that?” she asked.
I nodded, “Yeah.”
“Sorry,” she nearly blushed. “I’m terrible with gadgets. Or in this case, power tools.”
This time, I was the one who nearly blushed when my mother referred to the sex toy as a ‘power tool.’ Whatever it was, it must have been impressive.
There was a look of frustration on my mother’s face. She was a perfectionist. And an extremely hard worker. That’s why she was able to graduate from a top law school and work for a major corporation.
That also explained why she was still awake late at night playing with her company’s new sex toy.
“Well, I’m sure reading the instruction manual would help,” I suggested.
“That’s part of the problem. There isn’t one yet. Nothing is going to be printed unless I give the approval for their claims.”
“So no one showed you how to use it?”
“I had a crash course from one of the designers,” she replied. “But like I said, I’m terrible with gadgets.”
“You’ll figure it out.”
In classic mom fashion, she knew what I was thinking, just by looking at the expression on my face.
“Do you want to help?” she asked, hands on her hips, like she was too proud to ask.
I shrugged, “Would that be weird?”
She gave a soft sigh. “It’s for work. Very important work, I might add. So if you promise to be professional, then I’d like your help. Is that okay?”
Things were starting to feel weird already.
“I’m always professional.”
She gave me a skeptical look and gestured for me to enter her bedroom.
***
The device was unlike anything I had ever seen before. It was shaped like a vibrator (the kind that looks like it’s molded after a large penis). There was also a handle at the end with all sorts of switches and settings. It looked very advanced, and I understood why so many women paid big bucks for it.
After fidgeting with it for a while, I was able to understand how the thing worked. I explained to my mother the different settings available, along with all of the different vibrations it could make.
My mother looked at me like I was speaking a different language. Her expertise was legal writing and analysis, not mechanical things. And especially not sex toys. She wasn’t that type of person. She was the prim & proper type of a woman.
But, my mother seemed to manage when I handed it to her, and she played around with it for a while. It was so bizarre handing my mother an advanced sex toy and teaching her how to use it. I’m sure she felt the same way. But as always, her main priority was her job and getting it done.
“You’re the best,” she said, switching the vibrator off. “Now if you don’t mind, I would really like to…nevermind…”
She gave another embarrassed look. It was clear that she was planning to use the sex toy on herself. Awkward.
“I’ll leave you to it,” I casually replied, trying to make things less awkward.
I prepared to leave as fast as possible.
“Wait,” she said, with an apprehensive look on her face. “This job really means a lot to me. I could receive a big promotion if the launch of this device goes smoothly. So I want to do my very best. And in order to do that, I need a well-informed opinion of the SuperVibMax5000.”