“What?” I asked.
“Oh, nothing. I just can’t believe how grown up you’ve become.”
“Come on, Mom…” I said, a little embarrassed, even though I appreciated that she saw me as more of a man.
We sat in silence for a moment, sipping our coffee. The only sound that could be heard was the low ticking from a clock. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence though, like it could be with other people.
“How is Tammy, by the way?” Mom asked, breaking the silence.
“Oh. Um, she’s fine. I was going to tell you. We kind of broke up.”
Mom looked surprised at that. “Really? Why?”
“I don’t know. It just didn’t work out is all…” I said.
“That’s too bad. I liked her.” Mom sighed to herself. “I get that you don’t want to be tied down, but you really should try to stay in a relationship for longer than a month some time, Nick,” she admonished.
“It just didn’t feel right,” I tried to explain.
“Well, what would feel right?” she asked. Looking genuinely curious.
“I don’t know…” I answered, shrugging. A mature woman, I thought to myself. Someone like you, Mom. But I couldn’t say that.
“Huh,” She didn’t look too happy with that answer, but seemed to accept it. “Oh well, you’re still young. You’ll figure it out. It’s not like you’re going to have any problems on that front,” she murmured.
“What about you?” I asked, changing the subject.
“What about me what?” Mom asked, raising her eyebrow.
“You know. It’s been a long time since you broke up with… um, George?” I tried.
“Jeff,” Mom corrected me, looking less amused by the second.
“Yeah, Jeff. Haven’t you hooked up with anyone new since then?”
“Hah, I’m not sure I should share that much. But no, there’s not really anyone new,” she answered.
“Why?” I asked, perhaps being a bit too pushy with my questioning. “I can’t imagine you have any trouble attracting guys.” Mom flashed me an appreciative smile at that.
“Well… It’s more a question of attracting the right kind of guys. At my age I can’t be wasting my time with just anyone.”
“I see,” I said. I guess I understood that.
“Or maybe I’m just wasting too much time thinking about the one guy I can’t have…” she whispered, but it came out louder than I think she had expected in the silence of the room.
Mom’s cheeks flushed red and she coughed, then turned her attention to the coffee that remained in her mug. The atmosphere in the room changed, putting a stop to that conversation. I supposed she didn’t like looking like some lovesick teenager in front of her son. I wondered who it could be though, but knew better than to ask.
After we put the coffee cups in the dishwasher we sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, breaking the silence with the sounds of commercials and sitcoms. It was getting pretty late in the evening but we still stayed up for a while, sitting close, enjoying each others company.
**
I woke up before Mom the day after. It was Christmas Eve. It wasn’t snowing anymore but it was still overcast and thick layers of snow covered the ground. It must have snowed all night. I made myself some breakfast, most of which I ate while standing.
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