Then there were the more psychological approaches. I could imply I was going ‘gay’ and I needed help to get back on the straight and narrow (being gay was a no-no in those days). You can imagine it can’t you, with me fluttering around doing my best ‘fairy’ impression, and all the time implying that mother could solve the problem if she would just take me to her bed for the night, and show me the joys of illicit sex (or indeed any sex!). The problem with this one was mother might just accept my new sexual orientation and wish me well, which would leave in the embarrassing position of having to keep up the act ad infinitum.
On the other hand I could go with the “I have this unhealthy compulsion” strategy. It would start with me admitting I was sexually attracted to mother. I’d blame her for letting me see too much of her naked flesh (which to be fair she hadn’t), and indicate that my fantasies about her ‘body’ were becoming dominant in my head (which by then wasn’t so far from the truth). I’d tell her how frustrated I was becoming and how I was losing control of myself, implying if she didn’t let me play with her tits right there and then I’d probably go out and assault some poor old lady (which wasn’t true of course). But then I realised she’d probably just call the doctor and get him to give me something to control my ‘urges’.
Maybe I could try something similar. The “I love you too much mother” ploy, with the implication I’d become obsessed with mother. This obsession, I would subtly suggest, was now so deep that it would affect my future life forever… unless it could be overcome. Indeed I would have to carry around this ‘torch’ for my mother for always, whilst at the same time ‘crippled’ by the guilt of my incestuous desires. I would make it obvious the only way to overcome it, and save me from a life of misogyny and despair, and the inability to ever have a girlfriend or wife, was for mother to ‘get em off’ and let me ‘give her one’ right there and then (using a slightly different terminology of course).
Now these were all good ideas and yet I wasn’t convinced I could carry any of them out in practice, and I was forced into thinking how I might reverse the situation. In other words, how could I make her want me! Not a lot of options there however. I suppose I could try getting her drunk and merry and gay and (hopefully) sexually receptive, but it didn’t seem very plausible. To be honest mother was a bit of an old-fashioned ‘stick-in-the-mud’, and the chances of awakening her hidden physical needs enough to overcome her moral aversion to having an incestual relationship with her own son, seemed a trifle unlikely.
Eventually I was so desperate I even considered some very ‘out of the box’ ideas. Maybe I could get some training in Hypnosis, and put her to sleep, under the guise of helping her relax. Then I’d give her the post-hypnotic suggestion to come naked into my room at night and leap on me. It was a good idea (for a fantasy anyway) but I would need training and it would take too long. Another one was to sneak in her bedroom with a mask on and tell her that her son owed money for unpaid bets, and I wanted payment in sex or he’d be taken away and ‘punished’. But I guessed she’d probably know it was me.