“No, no…” I stuttered. “It’s not a problem I didn’t mind mother, honest.” I had a sudden vision of all my fantasies for the future disappearing in a puff of smoke.
“I know you don’t mind,” she went on. “But you don’t really understand what I’ve done. I’ve engaged in an incestual relationship with my own son. Not only is it morally wrong and illegal, but it will warp your natural development. You should be out enjoying yourself with young women, not with old women, and certainly not with you mother!”
“But mom I wanted to… to be with you. It’s ok really. In fact it was great.”
Mother smiled a weak watery smile. “I understand that it excited you sexually, of course it did, but it is very wrong, evil even, for a mother to seduce her own son. I am appalled by my own actions. After all you have done for me… being here to help me, putting up with all my awful moods, and never complaining, and now I have used you to fulfil my own lustful needs. Don’t you see what I have started and how much you will have to pay in later life for my… my selfish desires.”
“But I wanted it,” I said again, desperately trying to save a situation I’d dreamt about for so long from disappearing over the horizon.
“I know dear,” mother whispered, patting my head.” But I woke your sexuality and misdirected into something bad and entirely inappropriate. That I could do such a thing is beyond belief, and I will never forgive myself. The truth is since your dad died I’ve found it hard to cope with life. I’ve been angry with the world and everyone in it, and I guess I’ve taken it out on you; mostly because you’re the only one around; the only one I have left. But now… now I’ve tried to use you to replace a part of my life I miss very much.”
She sat there looking at me with a look of sorrow and misery on her face. “I think you know what I mean. But using my own son to excite my long-dead desires is… well it is a shameful thing to do.”
I was devastated by this sudden change of heart, and my mind raced, frantically searching for some way out, some argument I could use to change her mind and stop this unexpected catastrophe from ruining all my hopes. I’d dreamed about having a relationship with my mother for so long, and now my dreams and fantasies were running away like water down the drain.
Then it hit me. The answer was not some fiendishly clever ploy or plot to convince her everything was alright. No, maybe the answer was to finally tell her the truth.
“Now listen mom,” I said taking her hand. “I have a confession to make. This is not about what you’ve done at all, this is about me and what I’ve done.”
She looked at me questioningly.
“I’ve been obsessed with you for a long time now. In fact I’ve been trying and trying to think of a way I could get close to you. What happened wasn’t the result of what you did at all. I’ve been loving you and lusting after you for over a year now. What happened today was the answer to my prayer, a fulfilment of my greatest fantasy.”
She looked at me in surprise. “But why?” she said softly. “Why would you want an old woman like me?”