“Thank you.” I was too overwhelmed by his sheer honesty to say anything further.
“Anytime.” He took one hand off the wheel to check how much he was still shaking. If he was a surgeon, I’d have been worried. I pretended to be reading a billboard at the time so he could have as much privacy as he could in the cab of a two-seat freight truck.
“Honestly, though, sweetie, thank you. I needed that. This’ll probably sound stupid, but I’d started to wonder if your father didn’t love me anymore or if he thought I was ugly and all sorts of bad stuff. So, thank you so much for saying all that.” I put my hand on his knee and squeezed. He patted it a couple of times in reply before I took my hand back.
We went quiet for a little while after that, and my mind really began to wander. Joel didn’t come right out and say he was attracted to me, did he? Well, that depends on how you cut it. He said you’re beautiful and sexy, so to most people, that’d count as a yes. But I’m his mother, for crying out loud! And that doesn’t mean he can’t be attracted to you, does it? There’s way too many examples throughout history of guys being horny for their mothers for you to honestly argue that it never happens.
Not that I’d ever actually do anything with him, but… Yeah? Well, it’s just, he’s not a bad looking guy. You’d be doing really well to find a better looking guy his age who desires you that much. Plus, he’s your son, so you know he would’ve struggled with those feelings for quite some time before finally deciding “Sure, it’s fine that you feel this way, just tell her”, right? Actually, you know who he reminds me of? A young Mark. But more handsome. Exactly. I mean, sure, he’s got that styled stubble that he insists on calling a beard, but with Mark and my dark brown hair, and that sweet smile and those sparkling eyes, he’s a spitting image of Mark when he was younger.
Yes, he’s very handsome, but he’s still my son. I’m not saying I’d ever actually do anything with him; I’m just saying that I should feel pretty damn good about myself that someone so young and sexy finds me so desirable. Wait, did you seriously just say he’s sexy? Well, he said that about me, so it’s only fair… Hey, here’s an idea: fuck Melbourne, just get him to keep driving south and you’ll wind up in Tasmania, it’s a great place for those kinds of thoughts. Okay, I’ve had enough of these thoughts, and enough of this silence.
“Hey, it just occurred to me…” I clearly broke his thoughts, too.
“Uh? What’s that?”
“I never actually said anything in return, you know?”
“I don’t- What do you mean, Mum?”
“Well, I know this’ll just sound like I’m, like, either just repaying the favour or saying what every mother’s meant to tell her son, but just know I mean it, okay? You’re a very handsome young man. You look like a younger version of your father, but – don’t tell him this, okay? – you’re even better looking than he ever was.” I did everything I could to not stare at the tent that had recently appeared in his jeans.
“Maybe that comes from your side of the family, huh?” We both had to laugh.
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