“Thanks for opening my package for me,” she said while chopping vegetables.
I was stirring a pot on the stove, and I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not. Her attention was still focused on chopping the food.
“Sorry,” I replied. “I thought you wanted me to open it.”
She stopped what she was doing and looked at me, then I looked at her. It was an awkward situation and I still couldn’t tell if she was upset.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You did me a favor.”
“So you’re not mad?” I asked.
She brought the cutting board to the stove and pushed the chopped vegetables inside the pot. We stood close to each other and our eyes were locked.
“Of course I’m not mad. It was my fault for not giving you proper instructions. Besides, it’s all part of the new me.”
There was a sassy look of confidence on her face as she turned away. She went to the sink to wash the cutting board, and I was left stirring the food, wondering what she meant.
“The new you?” I asked.
“Well, I’ve learned some things from the books I’ve been reading. The prevailing wisdom is that women have true equality when there is sexual equality. And it makes perfect sense. So, that means I shouldn’t be ashamed of having natural desires anymore. Sexually speaking, men and women should be viewed equally.”
There was a newfound confidence and boldness in her attitude and voice. My mother never would have mentioned sex so casually before. But that was before. Now, there was a sense of feminism around her, which made things incredibly weird.
“Oh, well, whatever works for you,” I replied.
She leaned against the kitchen countertop, facing me.
“I’ll stop now. You look very uncomfortable hearing about my crazy new ideology, right?”
“Kind of. But it makes sense. Sexual equality is usually at the forefront of social movements.”
She smiled, “Listen to us. We sound like a bunch of raving leftists.”
“At least I’m in college. What’s your excuse?”
She playfully shrugged, “I guess I don’t have one.”
“Have those books at least helped with your job? You know, since being promoted and everything.”
“Absolutely. No question. Not necessarily for major things. I was perfectly qualified to become partner at the firm. But the books I’ve been reading have helped with the subtle aspects of being a female leader.”
“That’s cool,” I replied. “Sounds like you’re doing great.”
“I am. And everyone in the office seems to think so too.”
“Awesome.”
“There’s an art to being a good leader,” she noted. “It’s all about saying the right things in the right way, if that makes any sense.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Anyway, I hope I’m not boring you. Dinner is almost ready.”
With that, she prepared the plates while I stirred the pot a few times.
***
Later that night. I heard it. It was the dreaded awkward sound that I hoped to never hear. But I guess it was inevitable.
When I went down the hall in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I heard a faint buzzing noise coming from my mother’s room. It was a low buzzing vibration which could only have come from my mother’s new vibrator.