I peeled myself out of the car, it was another unseasonably hot day. Not unusual for May in Texas. In fact, we had above average temperatures for about a month.
I didn’t even knock like I usually did. Not even my courtesy knock because I felt no courtesy in my heart at that moment.
Gail sat, spotlighted by the sunlight coming through the kitchen window, at the kitchen table. She had a mug of coffee in her hand.
I poured myself a cup and pointed with it at the words on her cup: World’s Greatest Mom!
Gail absentmindedly looked at it, shook her head and said, “I didn’t even…”
Obviously she hardly had the will or strength to finish the sentence. I didn’t have the energy to even start our conversation, but, after a descent void of silence, I said: “Gail—”
She held up her hand to halt any vague ramblings, questions, or accusations I could feebly muster.
“Please, Cyndy, I’ve been thinking about what to say to you, to tell you, to plead with you … whatever. And I think the best way is to start from the beginning and get all the way through it in one piece. That will give you all the perspective I can generate. Then we can have that next level of conversation. Is that okay with you?”
I took a big breath and let it out while nodding. Gail began:
“You remember about three weeks ago? It was that Saturday? At the end of that first really hot week we had?”
She was asking questions that didn’t need answers. Questions in tone only. Her eyes weren’t on me, and it was like she was staring right through that far wall.
“Vance was still away on that overnight in Dallas, and he had given me about a thousand things to get done before he got home the next day. You had volunteered Doug’s services for the morning. Our internet service was down and I had the cable coming to fix it at three in the afternoon.”
“I remember,” I said. She didn’t even hear me.
“Doug got here at 9 a.m. and I offered him some breakfast. He said he already ate, but would have a nice cold apple because he was in training. He talked a little about staying in shape and his track scholarship and how he was looking forward to going to the same college as my twins. I had been still thinking of him as a little boy and realized how he had slipped into being a well-built young man of 18.”
“I worked inside, and he did the yard work in that blazing sun. I went out to him at 11 with some ice-cold lemonade and watched him guzzle down two big glasses. He needed it because he had taken his shirt off and his chest was covered with sweat. I mentioned it, and he said I must be working hard too because my blouse was almost soaked.”
“I finished up while he was still working around the pool area. I told him what a good job he did and suggested he go for a swim to cool off. He said ‘no’ because he didn’t have any trunks. I offered him some of Vance’s, and that made us both laugh. Vance’s trunks are three times Doug’s size to accommodate his belly. I keep telling him he’s got to lose just about a whole person in weight, but he doesn’t listen.”