Specifically: that new life finding a home by my son impregnating me.
That proposal would have seemed absolutely preposterous a few days before. But, and here’s another complication: I had watched him already impregnate another woman: Gail. So it took the act from improbable imagination to concrete fact: Doug could make a baby; I saw the proof.
AND—seeing that proof brought up another complication—that question he asked: “Don’t you want to know what I would feel like inside you?”
That had tickled at the corners of my perverse imagination before. But, after Doug’s proposal, I thought about THAT a lot. That and seeing Gail cum. I thought about the possibility … Totally out of line and perverse.
Then, I would feel crappy and guilty and start all over again from the beginning and cycle through my fears and worries.