Maddy came home around three thirty and went to her room to talk on the phone, nothing unusual for her. Some more time passed in the quiet house and Shawn came home at a quarter to six. Sarah greeted him with more affection than usual. She was likely internally apologizing for her shower imaginations. She had been uneasy the whole afternoon about what she had done, and what it meant. She swore that she would never think of that again. Jake is my son and I should never see him as anything else, that’s disgusting, she thought.
“Welcome home,” she said with a smile. Sarah kissed her husband on the cheek.
“You seem like you’re in a good mood,” Shawn said. He took off his coat and set his bag down. “Did you make steak?” He had a good nose.
“Yes I did,” Sarah said. She knew it was one of his favorite meals that she made. Another subliminal apology.
Sarah and Shawn ate dinner alone. Jake was still upstairs and Maddy had gone out with friends. They talked about their day and their recounts were as unspectacular as ever. Sarah didn’t mention a word of the shower, not even that she took one. The rest of the evening passed as usual. Some T.V., a couple drinks of whiskey for Shawn, some reading, into pajamas, brushing teeth, and in bed by ten thirty. Maddy had obliged by her curfew that night and was back in her room.
Shawn was feeling good. The extra lovingness from Sarah and the drinks had put him in a mood. He was sitting in bed next to Sarah and began to caress her leg. It was about time they had their monthly bout of intercourse, and Sarah was all for it. She was eager to redeem herself for earlier and please Shawn. She loved him and had never had any issue with his body. Foreplay was practically nonexistent, as usual, and before two minutes had passed they were naked, Shawn inside of her.
He was on top, in missionary, slowly increasing his thrusting so as not to hurt Sarah. His penis was average, not small, but not any bigger than average. Sarah felt guilty again about imagining someone larger. His penis is perfectly fine, bigger isn’t better… It’s just nice to look at, she thought. She was playing with herself as he fucked her. She knew how to get off and so did he. As the sex went on Sarah started to worry a little. Whether it was the whiskey making Shawn’s dick less hard than usual, her having already spent herself in the shower, or her guilt, she wasn’t getting close enough to orgasm. She didn’t want him to finish feeling like he didn’t do a good job though. She thought of faking an orgasm, but they had been partners for a long time and if she failed that would only make it worse. She had done this enough to tell he was getting close to cumming by his movements and rhythm. She panicked and wanted to climax but wasn’t quite there.
She played with herself a little more aggressively and thought again of the man in the shower. Not Jake, the tall, strong man, she thought. The big man taking me in the shower, her eyes were closed now, spreading my legs, grabbing my breasts, his thick cock filling me so fully. She was getting closer. His muscles moving me around to his pleasing, nothing I can do but be filled with his semen. Shawn was breathing heavily and it was obvious he was on the edge of climax, trying his best to squeeze it out of his alcohol buzzed penis. Sarah focused on his breathing for a moment, triggering a series of nasty thoughts that led her again to a place she was so conflicted to be. She thought, god, you’re breathing so hard. You should lose some weight, get in shape, like Jake, he wouldn’t be so tired fucking me. The train was only a second or less but it had dropped her off at the thought of her son fucking her. The man she envisioned was changed into Jake. Sarah saw her son’s abs, his hair, and imagined past the waistline. She thought of the V line that ran into his pants, the hair he must have down there, and his penis. A second more went by, the imagination of her grown son’s penis in her head gave her butterflies. She was so ashamed, but couldn’t stop. She imagined it not like his father’s, but thicker, manlier, better, she thought, and came.