“God, no!” Mom responded, acting shocked by the very idea.
Elizabeth sighed, “Thank God.”
“I’m bisexual,” Mom revealed with a proud grin. “I swing both ways.”
“What?!” Elizabeth gasped.
Mom was clearly enjoying the shock displayed by her prudish, judgmental older sister. She embellished her ‘crime’, saying, “If you need it spelled out, I play with both cock and pussy.”
“Oh my God!” Elizabeth gasped, completely scandalised.
Nana, throwing in some criticism of her own, but not at Mom, added, “Oh Elizabeth, are you telling us you’ve never experimented with your sexuality?”
“Mom! What? No!” a flabbergasted Elizabeth answered, as I moved to Nana’s other foot, enjoying this reality show immensely.
“Not even in your cheerleader days?” Nana pursued.
“Mom, what in heaven’s name are you talking about?” Elizabeth asked incredulously.
“I just always assumed you and Betty used to dyke out in high school,” Nana continued, before adding insult to injury, “Truthfully, I thought you were a dedicated lesbian until you got knocked up.”
“Mother!” Elizabeth said.
“What? I’m not judging,” Nana answered innocently. “I mean it’s not like I didn’t explore some girls when I was modeling.”
“Mom!” Elizabeth repeated like a broken record, before turning to my Mom, “Did you know about this?”
“We had a frank chat a couple of days ago,” Mom answered, not mentioning that the chat had ended in an incestuous threesome, while their mother munched her box.
“I can’t believe this,” Elizabeth said.
“What?” Mom asked. “That Mom and I are both bisexual?”
“Yes!” she said, “and that you’re talking about it with your impressionable young son sitting right here.”
“He’s fully eighteen,” Mom pointed out.
“But he’s your Son,” Elizabeth stressed the obvious.
“And he’s my adult son, so I treat him as such,” Mom explained. “He tells me everything, and I tell him everything. We trust each other completely, and don’t have any secrets.”
“That’s just too weird,” Elizabeth said, glancing back down at me while I was still massaging Nana’s foot. I didn’t worry: my erection was hidden beneath Nana’s feet, so she had nothing to complain about where I was concerned.
Nana added, “If you talked to your spoiled daughter the way Alexis does to her son, maybe she wouldn’t be the self-centred diva she is right now.”
“Now you’re telling me how to parent?” Elizabeth bristled, her face going red.
“Nope,” Nana said. “Just giving some friendly advice and pointing out that Alexis and Curtis have a very close and caring relationship. One that almost any mother would be envious of.”
I couldn’t help but smile at Nana’s real meaning.
Elizabeth finally relented slightly, as she looked down at me and said, “Well, she definitely doesn’t massage my feet.”
“Curtis will massage yours too,” Mom said, “if you wish.”
“Really?” Elizabeth asked, surprised.
“Of course,” Mom nodded, before adding, “although there is a requirement.”
“A requirement?” Elizabeth asked.
“You must be clad in sheer hosiery,” Mom revealed.
“What?” Elizabeth asked, even though she’d heard the words… it wasn’t so much a literal question as it was a ‘this is ridiculous!’ what.