“No not really, in fact, now that you mention it, I have noticed the same thing. Maybe we both have just tried to hide it to ourselves. Even though I had you Sophie, the greatest thing I ever did, I might have made a mistake with your father.”
“So do you think I should meet this woman?”
“Whatever you want to do, do it for yourself, I cannot tell you what to do. But if you want my advice, try it, see what it’s like, maybe I should meet a woman, even at my age I still could offer somebody something.” If RosePetal01 taught me anything, it was to not be negative about myself. I put myself down a lot, like when RosePetal01 apologized a lot. We both learnt to be more forthright. So lately I felt that no matter what, I was a kind person with a great personality and if people did not like the way I looked and could not see the person I am, then it is there loss. Plus I was guessing people would say no, but RosePetal01 reminded me also that we are our own worst enemies, especially when we try and guess what other people might think of us, especially when most of the time we are so wrong. I was 41, I still had a trim figure, except the couple of pounds that showed around my stomach, that I had lately been unable to shift; my breasts were smallish, smaller before I had Sophie. But thanks to there size, they had remained pretty sturdy, less weight to make them sag. I had long, straight brown hair, with a few specks of grey showing, and was 5’4″. Sophie sometimes mentioned when trying to get me to go out and date, that I was better looking than most 40 year old actresses, who all had to have plastic surgery to keep them looking good. Now that’s a compliment.
“Thanks for the advice mom, I think I will go to my bedroom now.” I bid Sophie goodnight and tidied the kitchen. I poured a class of wine and went to my room. It was still 9.30, so decided to play some solitaire before meeting RosePetal01 online at 10.
RosePetal01: Hi C, been waiting for an hour to talk.
Cheffette04: Hi P, must be important. What’s up?
RosePetal01: I feel very close to u, I think about u all day and have been nervous today, I want 2 meet u.
Cheffette04: Wow, now I feel nervous. Been thinking about you a lot lately as well. But I realised that as I have been making friends with you, feeling closer to you more and more each time we chat, I have been ignoring the fact you are a woman, and that makes me really nervous about meeting you.
RosePetal01: So me being a woman makes u afraid 2 meet me?
Cheffette04: No, not really, it is the realisation that if we meet and we like each other as much in person as we do by chatting, I may have wasted more than half my life with a man, when I should have been with a woman. It would make me feel a little stupid and ignorant.
RosePetal01: Don’t think like that c, u may not be gay, if we do find we like each other more as friends, I might be the only woman you will ever like in that way.
Cheffette04: I know but, somebody mentioned something today, and I think that maybe I am gay.
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