A while back, to relieve my conscience, I actually thought of confessing. That thought then morphed into maybe the most evil and self-destructive idea I’ve ever had. I considered asking Nelson for a free pass; permission for a one-night stand.
As I said, Nelson is about as perfect a husband as you can get. He doesn’t make millions but he makes a damn good living and is home with his family almost every night. He’s loving, caring, attentive, patient, and passionate. He’s honest and trustworthy to a fault. He teaches our daughter the difference between right and wrong by setting examples and by the strength of his character.
Just thinking of all his fine qualities makes me wonder how I could even think of hurting such a man. I’m not stupid. I know asking for a free pass would crush him. I also know it would damage our marriage and our relationship, maybe even end it. I…hell…any woman would have to have the IQ of an ameba to do something like that. No—I’m a lot smarter than that. I know that if I ever slept with Stoney, secrecy would have to be paramount and foolproof. No one, and I mean no one, except for he and I of course, could ever know. I couldn’t take even the slightest, most minuscule chance of Nelson finding out.
As I pulled into the parking lot of our office complex I took a deep breath to prepare for another day of self-flagellation. I had to stop doing this to myself. Hell, yes he’s gorgeous, but in the end he’s just a man. I have to keep telling myself that—he’s just a man; he’s just a man…a man with thick wavy, raven black hair and pearlescent blue eyes that pierce your very soul. A man with prominent cheek bones, deep dimples, a squared off jaw, and a strong chin with a cleft right in the middle. A man with broad shoulders and a body built by Fisher…yes, just a man but oh what a man.
God, there I go again, I scolded myself. I sometimes think I’m going crazy. Of course there are times when I don’t fantasize about sleeping with Stoney. Instead I try to dream up ways of getting him safely in the sack. I have no doubts he’s as interested as I am. Being a good looking woman all my life I’ve learned the difference between innocent flirting and, “anytime you want it, baby,” Stoney definitely falls into the latter category. No, the problem is not getting him into bed, it’s insuring no one ever finds out about it.
As I stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the ninth floor I could remember being able to do so without my heart pounding or my blood pressure rising. As the doors opened, the organized chaos of the bustling office would serve as a tranquilizer and help me get through another day.
The first thing I did was head for the executive coffee room, the one with real coffee, not that machine crap. Yes, I had worked my way high enough up the corporate ladder to earn the right to a good cup of coffee. I said I was no dummy.
I wandered over to my desk and was just about to sit down and take a sip of brew when my phone rang. “Hello.”