I laid there thinking. I looked at the clock again-quarter to five. It was only quarter to four in Chicago but…I wondered. Knowing my husband I guessed he’d take off early from work so he could spend some quality time with his daughter. I deliberated calling the house. I had to make sure Nelson wouldn’t be able to detect any guilt in my voice.
“Hello.”
“Hi, honey, I knew you’d be home already.”
“You did, how did you know?”
“Oh, I just figured you’d want to get in as much father-daughter time as you could since I was out of the way,” I joked.
“You, my love, are never in the way.”
Damn, he always knew just the right thing to say. “Awe, you’re so sweet. How was work?”
“The same as always; how’s the seminar? Are you learning to do calisthenics in the parking lot before work every day?”
I knew it was only my guilt-ridden conscious but when Nelson mentioned calisthenics I immediately equated it with sex and for an instant, nervously wondered if it was some veiled attempt to let me know he knew what I was up to. As quickly as the thought entered my mind; however, I knew it wasn’t so. He was simply making a reference to what workers do in Japan.
“No,” I managed to say with a laugh, “no calisthenics, just boring stuff about the psychology of the employer employee relationship.”
“Ooh, sounds like a barrel of fun,” he replied. “Want to talk to Evie, she’s right here.”
“Absolutely.”
“Hi, mom, when are you coming home?”
“I’ll be home Wednesday night, honey; miss me?”
“Yeah, I…I’m having a little boy trouble too, mom.” She’d lowered her voice to a whisper. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay, honey. Can it wait till I get home?”
“Yeah, here comes dad again,” she whispered for the second time. “I love you, mom.”
It was a little game we always played. “I love you more,” I responded.
“We love you more,” both my husband and daughter echoed in unison.
I had to laugh. “Okay, guys, I give. I’m getting hungry so I’m going to get something to eat then I have some homework before turning in so I will say my goodbyes for the night.”
“Okay, honey.” It was just Nelson’s voice again. “Don’t work too hard my darling. I love you.”
“I love you too, honey. Good night.” With that I hung up. For a moment I reflected on how lucky I was to have such a wonderful family. Of course my next thought was to look at the clock and see how much longer before Stoney and I would be dancing in the sheets.
As I started getting dressed all kinds of thoughts ran through my mind. What if he wanted to do something really kinky, would I let him? What about anal? Oh God I hoped he didn’t want to do anal, I’d never done it. Nelson knows my feelings on the subject and has never pushed, even though I’m pretty sure he’d like to try it. What about Stoney? What if he pushed me, what’ll I do? Jesus, what if he forces me to…what am I thinking? He’s not like that. If he tried I’d threaten to tell his wife—but then Nelson would find out. I’ll just have to make it clear from the start…no anal.
I was talking myself into a nervous breakdown. Relax, I told myself. We’ll have some dinner, some wine, some sexy conversation…everything is going to be just fine. Just calm down, go with the flow, and enjoy yourself, Langley. This is what you’ve been fantasizing about for months. Just take it as it comes…”or take him as he comes,” I said out loud, laughing at my own joke.