The whole of this was like watching a movie filmed through a blue mist.
Dad and I seemed to be in conflict as to which one of us would make love to Grandma, I thought it was wrong for him to be making love with his mother, and tried to stop him by making love with her myself. When he won he turned and taunted me, and when I won, I turned to taunt him, but there was no one there.
On the times that I won, as I made love to her, Grandma put her arms around my neck squeezing as hard as she could with her mouth against my ear calling out, “I love you son, you’re the best son a mother could ever have,” and she looked into my eyes with the love only a mother could have for her son.
Even through the blue mist I could see and feel the emotions. Obviously she thought that I was Dad. These dreams went on for many weeks, almost every night. I had to start wearing bathers and bike pants to bed, as on the nights that I won and made love to Grandma, it turned into a ‘wet’ dream and I tried not to mess the bed.
Was I screwed up? You be the judge.
My biggest problem was how was I to deal with it, it’s ok to say just ignore it, no one needs to know. But I knew, I was being affected by it and found it hard to handle, I’d worked for the same importers for five years, but found it hard to go about my normal business doing what I’d been doing for all of those years.
One day the boss spoke to me, “Tim, what’s wrong, to be frank, you’ve become a fair pain in the arse lately.”
“Nothing really Bruno, thanks for your concerns, I’m just not sleeping since Dad died, I’ll get over it soon I hope.”
“Soon, I hope.” echoed Bruno, as he walked away.
What could I tell him? How about this for starters?
“Well yes Bruno, I do have a problem since you ask, you see I’m having sex all night, every night, with my dead Grandmothers memory.”
Any half decent psychiatrist would have had me incarcerated in a heartbeat, and become famous for identifying a new mental disorder.
I’d been seeing a really nice girl for over three months, but she just got sick of me and walked away.
What really affected me badly was not being able to talk about it with any one.
I asked Mum how she and Dad had met, she told me that he’d seen her on the train and started a conversation, she thought he was just an ordinary guy, nothing special.
He was on the train every morning, and asked her out several times until she ran out of excuses and finally agreed. She said it must’ve been meant to be or she would’ve thought to change carriages or even trains.
After their first date he kept at her for a second date, and then a third. On the third date he told her that he loved her and would marry her, she laughed and said she had no intention of marrying anyone yet as she intended to travel first.
He was very persistent and after a year and a half they were married. She said it was just impossible to resist him, he kept buying her flowers and other gifts and telling her how much he loved her, she’d never had anyone be so persistent and so she just stopped resisting.