As she breaks the kiss there is a slight pause. Then, for the first time ever, I lean my face towards her and press my mouth to hers. It’s not forceful or urgent. Just deliberate.
She responds. Later, she will tell me how she has lain awake at night touching herself and thinking about me. Imagining my mouth against hers. Imagining the taste of me. Too scared to think about how she feels but needing me too much to ever kill the thought.
Our kiss is a little longer than the last. It’s gentle and it’s warm. As it ends and our mouths part, she waits a few seconds before pressing smaller kisses against my lips, as if she wants the end of this moment to be slow and gradual.
She takes her hand from beneath my shirt and moves herself upwards so that she is sat next to me again. I expect her to leave now and, for a few moments, I think she expects the same.
She looks at me again. The changing light and shadows from the movement on the TV screen flickers across the room, illuminating her face. I only realise how hard I am when I feel her hand move lightly across my shorts. She is touching me. My mom’s hand rubs across my penis and something inside of me triggers a deep and rich emotion. I love her but I know this different. I know that we shouldn’t be doing this. I’m certain we both know it’s something that shouldn’t happen. But her touch against me feels exquisite.
She stares at me as she rubs me through the material of my shorts. She isn’t smiling now and she isn’t speaking. She seeks out the shape of my hardness and presses her fingers either side pulling back slightly so that I get a rush of deep sweetness as she does that.
I feel like she needs me to do something. Like she needs me to show her that this OK and that I want to be part of this. I raise my own hand up and press it against one of her breasts. The feel of the stiffness of her nipple surprises me a little and I worry that I might have hurt her or something as my palm presses over it. I hear her let out a little gasp as I do that.
She moves away from me momentarily and unfastens the buttons at the front of her pyjama top. I can see the warm fullness of her stomach as the top opens. She takes my hand and rests it against her skin. Her hand is pressed gently against mine, holding my touch to her stomach like she wants us to share something inside of her.
In the half lit room I can see that her nipples are erect. She moves my hand upwards and presses it against one of her breasts, closing her eyes as she does that. She covers her hand over my mine, pushing my fingers so that they squeeze against her nipple.
We stay like that. I feel the round firmness of my mom’s breasts and see her mouth open just slightly as she takes my touch. She places her hand firmly but lovingly on the back of my head and draws me to her. We both enjoy the bond as my mouth closes around her.
I suck. Gently at first. It’s instinctive and natural. My tongue and lips just enjoying the feel of her hard nipple and delicate areola in my mouth. Her breast feels beautiful in my mouth. She embraces me, holding my head in her hands. She moans slightly and softly. It excites me to know that she is aroused by me doing this.