Sighing, I said, “But I can. And you’re not paying me back. I won’t allow it.”
She looked at me sideways. “I’m starting to wonder if we do have the same mother. This just wasn’t how she did things.”
“I grew up with someone else. Please, no matter who you are, just let me help a bit. You need some clothes either way, and probably some other things as well.”
After the clothes, I turned her loose in the Health aisle. I told her to pick shampoo, conditioner, and anything else she might need in the near future. I mentioned I was going to another aisle to find some food items and toiletries for myself and gave her a few minutes alone.
After picking up my needs, I went to find her again. I had to look, until I realized she was sitting on the floor behind the cart, tears on her face. She looked up at me, and said in a quivering voice, “I thought you’d left me here.”
This girl was shattered, I thought. “Not gonna happen. Sorry Jill. I shouldn’t have left you alone. Come on, get up, and let’s finish shopping.” I helped her up and gave her a hug. I knew she had been through some things, but I didn’t realize how fragile she was. I checked the cart and she had gotten nothing. “Let’s go find some things to make you even more beautiful!”
With a weak smile, she said, “You don’t have that much money.”
“I’m with the prettiest woman in Arizona. There probably isn’t anything to make you look better, but there are probably things you want! Grab that cart and we can find some things for you.”
She gave me a sideways look again, but we took off and found some basic makeup, shampoo, and the usual items. She stopped in the feminine aisle, and I said “If you need it, get it. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.” She picked a few items with a bit of a blush.
After the checkout, we loaded everything in the Subaru and I asked what she wanted for dinner. As usual at this point, it was “whatever I wanted”. Sigh. “What do you like on your pizza? I will have one delivered. Do you have a favorite kind?”
“I haven’t had that often…but I do like pepperoni!” It was nice to see here come out of her shell, if even just ever so slightly.
“I thought it was a rule that all Americans had pizza once a week! You should have eaten a ton of it by now!”
Head down, she said, “Mom didn’t buy it often” very quietly. It appeared I had screwed up, again. “You don’t ever have to be ashamed of your past with me.” Picking up her chin, I said, “Just be honest. We will deal with it.”
Once we were home and unloaded, I told her to go try on everything and then we could wash it. I needed to make a couple phone calls and I would order the pizza, I told her. After she was in her room, I called a doctor I knew and made an appointment outside of regular hours for Sunday. I needed more information. I also received an email from a friend regarding the documents I had texted him. They weren’t forgeries, per what was in the state records department. He also found a certificate of death for my mother (?), and no records of Jill being in school in the Boston area ever. I sent him an acknowledgement and said I would talk to him Monday at work.